# 002 - Living Whole & Fully
Embracing the Spectrum of All Emotions
Prefer to listen? Tune in to the Audio Version.
A musing from my archives that I felt compelled to share with the world.
Sometimes, you feel things deeply but can’t quite identify what’s lingering. You can sense something is off, but pinpointing it is challenging, so you just push it aside and don’t give it much energy, and yet you’re in a mood that you can’t seem to shake. Sounds familiar?
You’re not alone. Many people indeed are disconnected from their emotional world and body. While some emotions appear immediately and raw, others are triggered indirectly, without big impact. And they spread through your day to day like a low simmer.
It sometimes shows like the feeling of wanting to cry without knowing why, even though everything seems okay—perhaps you're just tired, you wonder. But maybe you’re not just tired; maybe your body makes you tired to slow you down, giving you the chance to explore the feeling.
And then sometimes, SUDDENLY the dam breaks—whether due to a clumsy incident or stubbing your toe. It doesn’t even hurt much, but you collapse, unable to hold back. You cry and sob, releasing bundled hurt, frustration, tension, and irritability. What was stuck inside your energy system finally finds a release. You surrender and let it flow. Once the tears dry, you feel magically better, lighter, and refreshed.
You have been there, haven’t you?
Are these moments pleasant? No. Necessary? Absolutely! They are the antidote to self-suppression.
I've been there, too - many times, though not often enough. Creating space for myself to allow time to grieve and process, still doesn’t come naturally. Especially when I am in overdrive to get things done and try to avoid what desperately wants to be seen and felt to shift. In these moments when things are brewing, my brain sometimes races at 100 miles per hour, and other times, it’s just dull emptiness. My face tenses up, my jaw clenches, and my muscles hurt. The look on my face is sour—a timestamp of life. Usually when I’m avoiding to sit in the emotional release cave, nothing flows, great opportunities fall away unexpectedly, and everything just feels hard. And then I get pissed off because that just ‘doesn’t fit with who I want to be.
One of my mottos is “Live life ALIVE.” The problem is though, that during heavy emotional moments, life feels anything but alive. It seems like I'm failing myself and my message: alignment, ease, choice, creator power, joy, fun, laughter. How do these grand words fit a sobbing, snotty human experience? How do I, the woman behind my identity (ego), fit my own representation? At first glance, not well— so I judge myself. Which again - is not very helpful and definitely not in alliance with myself.
On the second glance, however, it fits quite seamlessly.
First and foremost, I believe being alive means being wholly and fully in my body, present with myself, my inner voice, my intuition, my feelings, and my physical vessel. A holistic experience.
I believe such experiences are part of being truly alive, honoring what is currently “alive” in my own world. Being with it and continuing loving myself regardless of the darkness, which I know, will always pass.
And yet - the heavy experience stings. It costs mental and physical energy. It’s uncomfortable and unpleasant. It sometimes physically hurts. But it just is. When we allow it and then release the loaded, explosive charge around negative emotions, they simply indicate our humanness on a full spectrum.
Letting these feelings wash over me when necessary creates a space for me to heal, reevaluate my truth, boundaries, grit, and integrity. It’s cleansing. Like the heavy rain that’s been lingering in the air for hours before the big down pour.
And mostly, it’s a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow. Feelings are always lessons, our biggest teachers. I trust these experiences appear to guide me, helping me grow, explore my authenticity, become more me, check in on my boundaries, and improve my work with greater awareness of emotional intricacies.
Especially as a coach, who operates in the world of mindset, emotions, transformation, I can only hold others’ emotions in their fullness when I’m able to hold my own. I can only hold others safely in their process when I can hold myself safely - because I’ve been there, too.
This brings me back to my motto: Live Life Alive. Being fully and wholly alive means safely expressing my feelings, no matter their nature. Because it’s yin and yang—to experience joy and happiness, we also need to allow frustration, anger and sadness. Blocking unwanted feelings denies access to the desired ones. The spectrum must be embraced.
It’s certainly not always easy to be in “the down” of life. However, with everything I know now to be true, and every inch of my own stories and trauma I’ve worked through over the past ten years, I no longer hold any value in ignoring or suppressing or down talking even the slightest bit of emotional discomfort. I sometimes need to push it back for a while, but I always come back to it, when I’m in a safe space. (And whenever life is ‘busy’ and old avoidant patterns show up, it will catch up with me not long after).
In my younger years, not having the tools to understand and process my internal state was the root of losing my innate curious aliveness. It led to two burnouts and living life disconnected from my true nature, my gifts, and life’s abundance. I operated in survival mode most of my life. I truly began to see through the fog and work through it in my late twenties.
And here we are! Fast forward to today, joyful, aligned living is one big part of being alive for me. Breathing through hurt and emotional discomfort, expressing it safely, is equally important and necessary. It’s the Yang to the Yin. Just be mindful that navigating and releasing hurt and wallowing in it are two very different exercises.
A whole, holistic, and fulfilled life isn’t about avoiding hardship.
It’s about navigating the hard with grace, heart, and empathy for ourselves. With rest, trust, and surrender. With tears when they need to flow. With a hot tea soothing the sharp feeling in our belly.
Not with pride, false strength, or masks, but with softness and reaching for help and caring words. We mostly don’t need solutions, just someone to listen so we can quietly speak what’s been stuck in our throat.
Not with substances to numb the discomfort, but with a heartfelt movie and a tissue box. With gentle awareness of how we’ve been impacted and allowing ourselves to admit it wasn’t great.
Not with self-harming self-sabotage, but with conscious alone time, allowing close friends to check in on us.
One of the greatest gifts has been the knowledge and wisdom gained through ten years of self-journey and growing into “who I am” beyond conditioning. I’m truly grateful and proud for who I’ve become and the wisdom I have access to today.
There is sacred freedom in expressing your emotions and choosing a whole spectrum experience of being human. Your emotions are your most important guides. Shutting them down is like burning your map to live the best life available to you.
Does this resonate with you? If you would like to explore how you could express your emotions better to ultimately experience greater aliveness - let's connect. Reach out to explore how we can work together in an one-on-one environment to unlock your highest potential and navigate your emotional landscape with grace and authenticity.
Your journey to a fully alive and empowered life begins here. And now go, have a good cry!